Carrying On
by Cosmic Sky
Summary: It was a well-known fact that Felix didn't let this emotions show easily, doubly so when they're eating at him. Such behavior wasn't quite healthy for grieving. He had every right to grieve, but too stubborn to admit it, at least until Annette came along. She always had a way of captivating him, making him open himself up. In the wake of his father's death, that wasn't a bad thing.


**Hello again, everyone. Originally, I wanted to post this one last week, specifically on Friday, but life threw me some curveballs. As they say, better late than never. As with my Dimitri/Marianne one-shot, this one's of a more sobering tone. Expect a trip through the emotionally winding road that is Felix and his clearly unresolved trauma. Which seems to be a trait of the entire Blue Lions House. Seriously, these kids could have used some therapy, then again, so could eighty-percent of the rest of the cast…**

**I do not own anything.**

* * *

The rain was an odd thing.

Long before a handful of scientific minds took to studying nature, it was believed that the rain was the crying of the goddess herself. Others claimed it her spreading the essence of life across the land as very few creatures could serve without water. Over the centuries debate had gone back and forth, most of it not entirely serious. For most people, the rain could be many different things. There were times it was a positive, times when it was a negative, and then there were times it was a little of both.

Annette felt like a bit of both summed up things in their current state.

It was a known fact that the Battle of Gronder Field would be…nightmarish as this time, everyone would be fighting for blood. It had been, oh so brutally so. But, oddly enough, some positives had come of it. For one, the Blue Lions, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, had its noble-hearted prince back.

Except it had come at the cost of one of his closest advisors and one of the kingdom's leading figures. This same man also happened to be the father of the man Annette held close to her heart, more so than she could ever bring herself to admit. There was a chance that the time was coming when she'd have to change that. If she did, Annette was extremely aware that it was move that couldn't be taken back, rather things went north or south. Things going the latter was what terrified her down to the core of her being. Would it be another bridge burnt; another friendship broken beyond repair.

As she stared out at the rain, the thought of losing Felix stung her greater than she was willing to admit. Perhaps she'd already lost him, or he'd lost a part of himself.

_That's a stupid question. He may have gotten Dimitri back…but he lost his father. Now he's got no one left. _Instinctively, her hands tightened just as a flash of lightning illuminated the darken sky. Annette was willing to venture it perhaps might have been a sign from the goddess. _No, that's not true! He's not alone! He has the prince, Ingrid, Dedue, Sylvain, Ashe, Mercie, Professor Byleth, and…and…he has…he has…_

"It really does symbolize him well, doesn't it?" Came a gentle voice that caused Annette to nearly trip over her own two feet. Spinning around in a flustered state, she laid eyes on her best friend, quietly giggling to herself as she entered the vacant meeting room. "Sorry, I suppose I just couldn't resist the chance to get the jump on you while you were lost in thought all alone here." Explained Mercedes, still quietly giggling to herself.

Sighing, Annette regained just a measure of her composure. "You know, I'm kind of glad that part of you hasn't changed too much, Mercie. I mean, it definitely keeps me on edge, and we're at war so I guess that's not too bad."

"That's true, but it's important you don't wind yourself too tightly. Knowing when to relax and let go is just as important as being on guard." Replied the former Adrestian native. Her gaze was directed toward the sky behind the glass window, a blanket of dark clouds that expunged rain and occasionally lightning. She'd heard some say it was darkly fitting for the aftermath of Gronder Field, as the goddess herself had every reason to whip. But Mercedes was among a growing number who also thought that the goddess could have perhaps been crying in joy as well. "He's quick like the lightning, and when he strikes it is as precise as a lightning bolt and as powerful as a clap of thunder. He and Dimitri make for a good match."

"Suppose we should be happy he's not screaming in the prince's face, huh?" While Annette doubted there would ever be anything exactly resembling the "old days", she had faith that the friendship between the blue-haired swordsman and their prince could be salvaged. She had heard talk that the two of them had been training together, talking together, without major incident. But Annette couldn't say she was completely optimistic, not after all that had happened. "I just…I'm worried about what's going on in that head of us."

"You could always ask him, Annie, you know, like you used to do." Offered the older of the pair.

"W-What do you mean like I used?!" Stammered the orange-haired. Her mind flashed back to the blissful times of their academy days, when they went through life without much of a care. Mercedes' words now had her reexamining those times, trying to figure out when and where her best friend had been spying on her. Annette couldn't keep the dread from forming on her face. "Mercie," she groaned.

"Well, it's not like you two did a good job at hiding it, plus, it was obvious to everyone you were one of the few people Felix was willing to interact with _without _a tinge of sarcasm or negativity." A hearty laugh slipped from the Gremory as Annette's blush grew deeper. It was clear that she was enjoying this, much to the latter's displeasure. "We liked to joke that if we ever needed Felix to do anything without too much complaining, we were to find you and have you make a request to him."

"H-Hey! That's mean! A-A-And how many times did you all do that?!" She was now sorting through all the memories, trying to discern when and where she found herself dancing to the strings of her classmates. Try as she might, Annette couldn't quite get as angry as she felt she should have. "Gah! Please tell me you're just joking about that part! Besides, Sylvain's just as good at getting Felix out of his stubborn shell as I am, o-or how you think I am!"

"True, but with him, he usually throws a jab or two about his skirt-chasing." She corrected with a cock of the head. "When taken in totality, it's clear you're the person he cares about the most in the entire Blue Lions House…which is exactly why if anyone could be a shoulder for him to cry on, it should be you." Mercedes was more than ready for the look of deep surprise that exploded across Annette's face. "Annie, it's clear that while you're happy that Dimitri's sanity has returned, it's obvious that you're worried for Felix. And I believe you have every right to be." Sorrow took root upon the healer's face as she stretched out her hand to the window. Fittingly, the glass felt ice-cold against her palm. Little more than an inch of it separated her from the rain and cold outside. "In order to Dimitri to stop his quest for revenge to appease the dead…he had to have someone else lay down their life for him. It's a sick joke, one that I believe only the darkest of comedians would laugh at or make."

"Then get punched in the face for it." Quietly retorted the orangette. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing fun about the way things had played out, and anyone who through otherwise she'd have words for. It wasn't like she couldn't accept that sometimes life didn't make sense, but there were certainly times when Annette felt like it was unnecessarily cruel and twisted. "I've been keeping an eye on him, so's Ingrid and Sylvain."

"To be entirely honest, we all have been. I don't think he appreciates it." Echoed the light blonde.

Annette looked to her best friend with a joking smile. "When does Felix ever appreciate anything we do for him, at first anyway." Another fit of laughter seized the pair of friends. Surely, wherever he was, the blue-haired swordsman felt of tingle across the back of his neck, that or he sneezed throwing off his swing. He had a feeling someone was to blame for it. Once the laughter subsided, the girls returned their gazes to the gray landscape beyond the window, their faces quietly sullen. "Felix is Felix, if something is bothering him, he'll refuse to tell the rest of us, but it will show through at times. As his friends…I believe it's our duty to reach out to him, even when he doesn't want us to. Did we not do the same for Dimitri?"

Had there been times when the Blue Lions had been at each other's throats or bitter with one another? Certainly, but at the end of the day, they all had a way of coming together and overcoming whatever strife that had been eating at them. Doing so hadn't always been easy, but Annette like to believe they did a good enough job of it. And in the end, their efforts paid off with renewed friendships and physical and emotional wounds healed.

"Heh, you know, times like this I'm really glad that we met and became friends, Mercie. I don't know what I'd do without you." Admitted the younger of the pair. At times, their roles changed, sometimes Mercedes filled the role of the older sister she never had when at other times, Annette found herself fulfilling that role to her. "Well, I guess that settles it. Time to go find that villain and make sure he's…he's…gah! What would I even talk to him about! How would I talk to him about it?!" And just like that, the House Dominic heiress was a flailing mess, her emotions raging out of control as her mind spun with what the future may hold.

"Annie," started Mercedes catching the orange-haired girl's attention. Gently, she reached out and placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "You tell him that you're there for him, even if he tries to push you away. When someone gets hurt…they carry the pain with them, often because they feel like they must do so alone or that reaching out for help isn't the right thing to do. Felix is…we both know half the time he keeps his feelings bottled up, and when he releases them it's often-"

"Like a bastille being fired? Still, I guess that's part of what makes Felix…Felix. But he could stand to loosen up a bit."

"Then you can go talk to him and try to do that. The worst he'll do is…actually, were it any of us, he'd get quite angry. Annie, you're one of the few people I don't think I've ever seen him get angry at."

"I wouldn't exactly say that…but…well…um, he does still mess with me though. Like sneak up on me when I'm singing! And make fun of it too!"

"Annie, I highly doubt that." Mercedes laughed. "I can picture you being the one to make fun of Felix, and get away with it. Of course, now isn't exactly the time for laughing. Right about now…I imagine Felix is thankful for the rain."

"Why?" Questioned Annette, genuinely curious.

The healer's hand pressed against the glass. There was a distant, sorrowful look in her eyes. She wasn't gazing at the mountains and forests that surrounded the Monastery, she was looking at something else. Whatever it was, it was a sad sight. "When it rains, it helps mask one's tears, especially when they don't want others to see them." It didn't take much for Annette to deduce she was speaking from personal experience. Her heart ached at the sorrowful memories the older sorceress must have been revisiting, all for her sake. "The thing is, when you have friend and family, people that care about you, there's no need for hiding. Or at least, that's what I believe."

Annette felt her hands tighten. "You're not wrong, Mercie. I just wish that…everyone could hear those words. I guess that's awfully idealistic of me, huh?"

"Maybe, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. After all, if not for a little optimism, I believe the world would be a darker place and it'd be hard to find hope."

She could have remained there and continued to listen, but Annette knew what she had to do. Specifically, she knew that every second she wasted was another that Felix was grieving in private. Knowing him, he'd explode eventually, no doubt biting back at any of them with a tad more force than usual. Annette could see it in her mind, including his realization and his muddled attempts to make things right. That was one possible mess that Annette had no desire to see unfold, the only way to stop it was for her to confront the swordsman face to face. It wasn't like she hadn't done so before, but never in the wake of such a tragedy.

The rain had grown heavier once she was outside. It was now furiously pounding against the landscape like a forger's hammer upon their latest piece of work. Those wearing armor were shielded from the downpour, but found their ears echoing with the constant pattering of the water against their metal coverings. Those without armor pulled their clothing over their heads while they hurried onward to get inside or under shelter. Annette was an outlier in that regard, she was moving through the rain rather undaunted, her eyes focused. She knew there was likely only one place Felix would be, even with the weather being as it was. During their academy days, she'd seen him practice through the freezing cold, blistering heat, the bombarding rain, and everything in-between. Sometimes, it'd come with a cost, which Felix often attempted to shrug off.

Something in her gut told her this time she'd find him practicing more intensely than before.

Annette was proven right upon reaching the reconstructed training yard. The overhead tarp that could be pulled out remained curled up allowing the rain to douse the square-shaped field. It was occupied by only one person. He was vigorously swinging a sword about like a mad man, slashing at invisible enemies who couldn't defend themselves anymore than a lamb could before a hungry wolf's fangs. Even from behind the pillars, Annette could tell that Felix was in a foul mood. She'd watched him fight enough to be able to tell by how he swung his sword, practice blade or not. He could hide how he truly felt using his words, but when he had a weapon in hand, his true feelings came out.

His hair was down, sticking to his face thanks to the rain and the sweat that built up on his body. His clothes were completely soaked through. He was fighting through the chill, as all children of Faerghus were trained to do. Compared to the freezing rains that sometimes blanketed their homeland, this was nothing. But it wasn't the outside weather that was harming him, it was the storm within.

Annette's mind raced with things to say as she watched his glittering silver sword slice through dozens of raindrops with every swing. It seemed Felix was trying to cut them all, but due to their sheer number, it was impossible. That wasn't going to stop Felix though.

"Aren't you going to say that I'm overdoing it? That I'm going to catch a cold or something like that?" He'd probably known she was there all along, simply choosing to focus on his training until at least he could no longer ignore her. Albeit, he still had his back turned to her.

"It's not like it'll be the first time." Stated the orange-haired sorceress. She didn't have it in her to make light of those formerly blissful days. Annette could feel the raw emotions building up within Felix, just waiting for the moment to explode. Thunder sounded above her. "Um, I…hear that you've been practicing magic and that you've got a thing for thunder magic. It, um…suits you."

A half-humorous chuckle slipped from his lips, surprising her. "The Professor told us that electricity could be used to cause a sword to vibrate, thus enhancing its cutting power, the same way magic and heat can be used. Not to mention he was willing to work with me to nurture what magically talent I did have. Him…and you, Annette."

The fact that he mentioned her name shocked her, but it also warmed her heart. It might have been a trick of the rain and thunder, but Annette could have sworn she felt a hint of affection in his voice when he spoke her name. By nature, she was a bubbly and optimistic person, but this time she was trying to reign it all in. Just as she opened her mouth to speak again, Felix's sword was rose and fell, a visible crescent-shaped mass of air cutting through the ran to impact the nearby pillar. Annette near jumped out of her skin watching pieces of rock and debris fall to the ground from the point of impact. She'd forgotten that amongst their professor's many techniques, he'd taken the time to teach Felix the "Razor Wind" as it was called, a move that used the air itself to slash through an opponent. It required immense control and power, two things that Felix had in abundance. Even when he seemed to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"Healing magic though…that's…hmph…that's one thing that I haven't quite seemed to get a hold on. That's much more useful than being able to swing a sword, wouldn't you agree?" Came his sharp, but seemingly hollow voice.

That was when it hit Annette, hard and sharp like a jab from a gauntlet-totted enemy. Her hands trembled, then tightened, and finally relaxed. Quietly, she removed herself form the sidelines and marched over to her classmate, her ally, her friend. Rain assaulted her light orange-colored hair causing it to stick to her face. She couldn't help but find something refreshing in it. The thunder and lightning overhead mattered little to her. She could be struck down in a second, and yet it wouldn't have matter in the slightest to her. "Felix," she whispered reaching out to him once she was within arm's length.

Finally, the orphaned heir to House Fraldarius turned to face her.

Mercedes words came trotting back to her. _"When it rains, it helps mask one's tears, especially when they don't want others to see them."_

Even though the rain was falling hard, Annette could tell Felix had been crying. His eyes were puffy and red, just like hers had been when they were all forced to flee Garreg Mach Monastery that day five years ago. After they'd attempted to defend the monastery, their comrades, and themselves…and failed. Annette had cried her eyes out, especially upon learning that Professor Byleth wasn't anywhere to be found.

Felix hadn't cried, only howled and smeared in anger before stomping off on his own. That was the last Annette would see of him for five years until they all reunited at the monastery. Perhaps during that time, he had shed a tear or two, but she wasn't there to see it.

She was seeing the tears now.

"All a sword knows how to do is cut down enemies…no different than a mad beast who only knows how to destroy. I suppose he and I weren't all that different after all." This time, there was no humor in his laughter. His voice was simply broken, a description one never would have used to described Felix Hugo Fraldarius. "Even a sword can grow dull, and when it does…it has no use, it cannot cut. Not a path to the future…not a path…towards its…ARGH!" As Annette predicted, the explosion of anger came, but it wasn't directed at her or anyone else. If anything, Felix seemed to direct his fury towards himself. In a single move, his silver sword was driven point deep into the soaked ground. "If I had…if I had…if I had been able to heal myself or any of the others then…there's a chance I might have been able to get to the Professor and Dimitri in time. I could have gotten…if I'd been there when…"

"Felix," Annette softly started reaching out and taking hold of his hand. Rain collected in his palm as she clenched her fingers around the edges of his palm. "There was…there was nothing you could have done, nothing any of us could have done. In the end we were just…Gronder Field just took something from all of us. I'm…if anything, I'm the one you should be blaming. I-I…I was closest to his Highness and the Professor," Tears of her own began to gather and eventually fall, a sob rising in her throat. "There's a chance I could have made it to your father and I…I…"

There was a short snarl on his part, then Felix acted. Quick as the lightning flashing overhead, he pulled Annette into a tight hug, one that visibly caught her by surprise. "Quiet. Don't…don't you dare blame yourself for his death. And don't you dare say I shouldn't blame Dimitri because I don't! I…I…dammit all! Of all the battlefields, of all the places, I despise the fact that it was that blasted field! That same damn field that he said he was proud I fought on! Proud of the actions he'd heard I'd undertaken that day!" Just as the memories of the mock Battle of the Eagle and the Lion had been soured for her, they'd been soured for Felix as well. It wasn't something Annette ever would have thought of as possible, but it was. She was hearing it with her own ears. "Dying on that field to save Dimitri…at the hands of some revenge-driven maiden, who herself lost her brother to a not that boar, but to Professor Byleth! It's nothing but a twisted joke, one that I refuse to laugh at!"

The aftermath of the battle had been…it had been as depressing as everyone had assumed it would be. Things only grew worse when Caspar correctly identified the slain girl who'd attempted to assassinate Dimitri as being the younger sister of the Imperial general they'd fought months before to defend the monastery. The former Adrestian noble looked visibly distraught as the pieces came together in his mind. One could only imagine how guilt-ridden Dimitri and Byleth were. One who'd been the target of the little girl's fury, and the other who'd been the true cause of the girl's sorrow, and the one to send her to meet her departed brother.

That left Lord Rodrigue Falderius, slain by a stab wound to the abdomen. Normally, a standard injury that could be healed with little more than a scar as a reminder.

Except there were no healers, none able to tend to him. From their strongest Faith magic users such as Mercedes, Marianne, and the Professor himself, all had exhausted their strength in the prior battle. Healing injuries…and trying to keep themselves alive as a two-sided battle became a chaotic three-way melee that only grew worse when fire rained from the sky. Annette had been close by when one of the fireballs slammed into the earth, a miniature meteor that left a massive crater in its wake. Her leg had been so badly burnt that just the mere act of standing up caused her unimaginable pain.

Felix had fell long before that. Choosing to draw the attention of the Imperial forces, he'd fought off wave after wave, taking countless blows in return. He'd hit the ground, exhausted beyond measure. The light of the Aegis Shield dimmed as its owner had lost the strength required to tap into its power.

No, it was more than that.

The Fralderius family Relic had been in his hands, the future heir…not the current head of the house. The man whom it could best be used by. The man whose life it could have saved.

Instead, it had been used by Felix time after time to save his life, the life of a man who could do nothing but swing a sword and fight.

"Why…why did he give it to me before the battle? He was one of our army's leaders! He was…he was…" The anger and sorrow returned, amassing within the blue-haired swordsman. Like a volcano building up to an eruption, it all threatened to spill out of him in an instant.

Acting on sheer impulse, Annette stopped it. "Because you were his son, and he knew he could trust you with it. The same way he knew he could trust you with it five years ago. No, I think he wanted you to have it because he knew it would keep you alive." Her words brought the swordsman's mind to a screeching halt as he looked down at her. "You were his last remaining son, and he knew he had to protect you, so he gave the Aegis Shield to you. His son…his…heir…his pride."

"Proud of me?!" Barked the warrior. "What is there to be proud of, Annette?"

"A lot!" Defiantly fired back the sorceress, fighting back tears. "While you and your father may not have always seen eye-to-eye, he's always been proud of you! Proud of the man you'd become! A man that fights for what he believes in, who fights for his friends! Not because of some stupid code of chivalry, but because he loves and cares about them with all of his heart!"

Felix knew perfectly well when Annette put her foot down, she could be quite strong, physically and mentally. It was one of the things he respected about her, admired about her. Even if at times she got worked up over the most idiotic of things and flew completely off the handle. At times he found it cute. Not that he'd ever let her know that.

Perhaps if they lived through the war and saw what peace looked like again. Felix honestly wondered what would his place be in such a world. Annette would have a place in it, and he would ensure that she lived to see that world come about.

Quietly, he pulled back, his face sullen. "You…you make big assumptions about me."

"They're not assumptions when you know they're right. That makes them…facts!" Pressed the heiress to House Dominic. It was clear by the look in her eyes this was on discussion she had every intention of seeing through to the end. Or rather, she was going to make sure _he _saw it through to the end. "Felix, if you hadn't had the Aegis Shield with you…you could have died, _more of us_ could have died." She knew he was omitting that part from his thinking-the countless diving saves he'd made in order to save those around him. Include Dimitri, who seemed to pause if only just a little to recognize the danger the sharp-tongued swordsman was putting himself in for his sake. Her assumptions were proven right as she saw Felix's body tense in the rain.

"If any of you died and there was something I could do, but chose not to do I…" The mental image of his deceased older brother materialized in his mind. Felix wanted to shut his eyes, but to do so would be no matter than a child running away or throwing a temper tantrum. His talk with the Professor reverberated in his head.

"_From what I understand, neither of you are that different, in spite of what you say. He is weighed down by the ghosts of the dead, people he feels he must avenge at all costs. You, Felix, are constantly chasing after your brother's shadow, even if you don't want to admit it. Between the two of you, I have a hard time figuring out which of you has it worst." _

That was one thing he admired about their divine-blessed Professor and strategist, when push came to shove he did not hold his tongue for fear of the backlash. His words had stung, more than Felix was willing to admit, but deep down he admitted that the Ashen Demon was right.

He had been chasing after a shadow that would never turn to face him, only perhaps watch over him and pray his blade found a worthy cause to serve.

"If Glenn had chosen to save himself over Dimitri…I don't know if I'd ever be able to look at him the same way. Hell, I don't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself given how dedicated he was to helping everyone he met and served with."

"Knights tend to be like that." She could understand the devoting, and how it could easily hurt those around the devoted. The pain was great, but it wasn't something that Annette tried to let swallow her. It seemed Felix had come to the same conclusion, albeit in his own way and he was still having trouble with it around the edges. "Still…fighting to protect the things and people you love…I don't think that's a negative thing."

"I suppose what gets under my skin is the idolization of such behavior, but in the world we live in today…it's easy to turn your back to such a notion. To scuff and laugh at it." Replied the blue-haired swordsman.

"Which both sound like things you'd do. Well, except the laugh part, hearing you laugh is like seeing a wyvern flying upside down." Lightly retorted the magic-user.

Felix snorted, there it was clear there was some affection hidden in it. "You make it sound like I'm good for nothing but swinging a sword and scowling when I'm not."

"Or, ya' know, scowling while swinging your sword, which you do a lot of." Laughed Annette. She was happy that her words got some laughter out of him. "Hey, you can smile when you want to, we all just wish that you'd…do it a bit more."

"…When Glenn died, I had a hard time finding a reason to smile about anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I stopped smiling at my father altogether after a little while." Stepping back, he removed herself from her arms, as if he were too tainted to be near a person like her. There were so many things that Annette was that he wasn't. At the very least she'd made an effort to mend the rift that had formed between her and her estranged father. Felix thought such things could come after the war was over and they could all return to those days of peace. His foolish stubbornness had cost him. "Now that my father's gone…the Aegis Shield…what does a swordsman like me have in wielding a Heroes Relic like that?"

"Even swordsman needs to know how to stand their ground a then. You can't dodge everything that comes your way. Besides, if you won't carry on the shield…who else will, Felix?" He looked away from her gaze, as if trying to silently dispute her words. Annette wasn't having it as she stepped forward, her hand reaching out and turning his cheek so he was facing her. "Felix, I don't think you have to live by the same code of chivalry that your father and brother lived by, it isn't you." In spite of the rain drenching her clothing and growing shiver running up her spine, Annette found herself smiling. "Just…honor the people they were-good, honest, and noble. People who fought for the things they believed in…who fought for their loved ones. Fighting to protect what you love…I think that's what it means to be a shield for someone, and if so…then I'm confident you can do it."

Slowly, his hand rose, falling over hers. A spark of warm blossomed between them. "You sure do place a lot of faith in me, don't you, Annette."

"That's what friends do, Felix." Responded the orange-haired sorceress. She liked being this close to Felix, a tad more than she was willing to admit.

The swordsman was in a similar boat. He'd stood out in the rain for close to three hours straight, slashing at practice dummies then at the thousands of drops that fell to the earth every second. Throughout that entire time, he'd felt a gnawing coldness, a pain that had clawed at him from the inside and threatened to swallow him up. Then came Annette. _It always falls to you…like a light in the dark. Rather it's your face or your voice, especially your voice…Annette. _Felix wanted to ask her to sing, but he felt unworthy of making such a request. Because of him, she'd stood in the freezing cold rain for the last several minutes listening to him vent and rage. What right did he have to make such a request of her?

He moved his hand from hers down to her shoulders. "We…should get inside. Should we linger any longer you'll catch a cold."

"Hehe, if I do, I could always blame it on you." Annette coolly shot back.

Felix laughed. "I suppose you could, I'd have to take responsibly then." Holding his left arm out, he concentrated and reached out. Before him appeared the Crest of Fraldarius, red sparks rippling through the air and illuminating the rain. Seconds later and the Aegis Shield appeared upon his arm. "Since you put your faith in me…I suppose you're another person I can't disappoint." From the glow of the shield came a translucent barrier that expanded to encompass the both of them.

"Seems like you've gotten pretty good at using your family's Relic." Annette noted with a visible smile. "Like I said, if there's anyone who can make the most of that shield, then it's you."

Faith.

It was a defining characteristic of his father. Felix could never understand it, or thought he never could. He didn't have much faith in the goddess like of his countrymen. Especially after his brother died, and he couldn't say that he had some newfound faith in the divine having lost his father. A father who he'd give anything to have back. There were a number of things he wanted to say to his father, and a number of things he wished he could take back. Bitterly, he realized that some of those things he was going to have to say to a gravestone instead of a live person.

He wanted there to be much for him to tell his father and brother, and his mother as well.

Felix didn't have faith in the goddess, nor did he believe in such higher powers such as fate and destiny. What he believed was that people made choices.

His brother had made his choice.

His father had made his choice.

And finally, so too had he.

Faith in the gods wasn't something he could get behind. But faith in people…no matter how loath he was to admit it, was something he could.

He'd had faith in his professor. He'd had faith in his friends.

And he'd had faith in Dimitri.

Perhaps most importantly, all of those people had faith in him, for whatever maniac reason. He couldn't bring it in himself to betray that faith.

_Father…brother…maybe just a little…I'm able to understand you two, how you felt and why you did what you did. Because the people you did it for…they were…they…_

* * *

Three days later and they were back in the same positions, only this time, there wasn't any rain. Instead, a hazy crescent moon shined overhead, lazily shining its light down upon the earth below. It reflected off of the silver blade in his hands, which moved so quick it left gleaming streaks in its wake. It was mesmerizing to watch, at least for the warrior's sole spectator.

"Couldn't sleep either, could you?" Spoke the Major Crest holder in a quiet voice as he turned about to face the woman hiding behind the pillars.

Concepts of beauty never really came to Felix. In fact, the very concept of beauty, _feminine _beauty was something he spent as much time dwelling on as a fish thought about poetry. Goddess forbid he ever have to give serious thought to it.

The goddess wasn't feeling merciful.

He couldn't keep his eyes off of the orange-haired sorceress clad in her night gown. Annette's hair was slightly undone showing she'd literally jumped out of bed and no doubt walked all the way down from her room to see him. It gave her a sort of unkempt beauty that Felix couldn't help but stare at from the corner of his eye. What he didn't know was that the amorous feeling went both ways.

Like a…good number of the men in the army, Felix slept shirtless. And remained shirtless when he decided to step outside for any nightly activities. The end result, a well-muscled male specimen swinging a sword about in the moonlight. Upon seeing such a sight, it wouldn't have been unnatural for many a woman to…space out a bit. Annette was fighting the urge to do so. Biting her lip, she looked straight into his teal-colored eyes. "I…um…would you get angry if I said I was worried about you?"

"Heh, you wouldn't be the first one to say that. Everyone's been keeping an eye on me since…since…you know. Acting like any second I'm going to explode into a tearful mass of anger and emotion. I want to say I'm not the kind of person who'll do that…but…" Flicking his gaze from her to his palm, Felix's face fell. "The pain's still there, and it will be for the rest of my life. But I don't want it to consume me, yet looking back…I suppose I let the sorrow I felt for Glenn's death eat at me for years without admitting to it."

"Pain and sorrow will always do that to you when you don't want to admit to them. Then again…at times it may feel like admitting to either of them doesn't help much either." Muttered the sorceress stepping out of the darkness into the light. Her sandals padded against the hard stone ground beneath her.

"Which makes choosing between or the other a bother." Mused the blue-haired man.

"I still think accepting the pain and sorrow is the better option, after all…if you can't face it, how can you expect to move past it."

At first, the Swordmaster was quiet, but after a minute or two he smiled. Without a word, he reached forward and took the shorter woman into his embrace. The act visibly caught her off-guard, but she quickly adjusted to it. She found comfort in it.

"It may take me a while to accept all of this grief, and now's not exactly the best time to do so." Felix finally noted.

"Well, we have a moment of peace here and now. So that's worth something." Nervously replied the magic-user. "I mean, you've made the most out of it in learning how to cast magic, something that no one ever thought you'd really ever do."

"You're one of the ones that said life's full of surprises." His grip on her tightened as she brought up the more in-depth magic lessons he'd begun undertaking. A handful of people in their still-recovering army knew the reason why. Felix was far from alone in learning the arts of sorcery. Or rather, he was picking up where he'd left off during his academy days. "Annette," he began with uncharacteristic tenderness. "I…know what I'm about to ask you is going to sound like nonsense…but…could you…sing?"

The pluckiest girl of the Blue Lions felt her lips curve upward into a smile at her comrade's request. "Of course, Felix." As she drudged up a song just for him, her arms began to reach upward, encircling his backside. It was a quiet, nice little embrace beneath the light of the moon that belonged solely to them. No one else was around for it, and no one would know of it.

Quickly, it became clear that the only way the blue-haired swordsman was going to get to sleep was with the aid of the orangette. Her face blushing red like a raging flame, Annette took Felix by the hand and led him through the monastery. They were careful to avoid the night patrol, ever watchful for potential attacks from the Empire. On this night, things seemed quiet and peaceful, just as Annette herself had said. It was all the more reason for her to ensure that the normally sour-faced swordsman got a good night's sleep, a night to let his grief out as well as a chance to begin to move on from it. Felix said not a word to her, but he didn't really need to. Annette's singing had spoken all the words that needed to be said, their bodies did the rest.

Expectedly, her quarters were dark, only pale light from behind the curtains seeping in. It was just enough for the two of them. Standing at the edge of the bed, Annette looked up at Felix one final time, her light blue eyes twinkling with a mixture of anxiety and hope. A moment later and the call of the latter was answered.

With surprising gentleness, the swordsman took her up into his arms then gently lowered her onto the bed, he himself following shortly after. He lay behind her, a protective arm wrapped around her waist.

"Annette," Felix whispered, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

Smiling with the softness of a spring breeze, she turned over, wiping away the lone tear that fell from the man's eyelids. His head found its way to her chest, his hands wrapped around her sides just as hers cradled his head. With a near angelic voice, Annette began to sing, a lullaby she remembered her mother and occasionally her father singing to her when sleep refused to come for any number of reasons. She hoped that just as it'd done the trick for her, it'd do the same for the tortured swordsman in her arms.

Almost ten minutes later, and sleep came to Felix. Annette continued to hold him, unwilling to let him go for anything in the world. Gradually, her eyelids closed and she eventually fell into the realm of dreams as well.

Unknown to her, as she began to softly coo in her slumber, Felix dared to pop one eye open. His thoughts roused as he recalled his previous conversation with his restored lord.

"_You know, Felix, you really are growing more and more like your brother." _

He dared not move for fear of awakening the woman holding him in her arms. Besides, she was able to show an inner strength he'd always admired, always felt drawn to. Perhaps one day, when the war was over with he could reveal his affection of that trait to her. In order for that to happen though, they both would need to be alive.

Felix had every intention of ensuring that Annette lived through this nightmarish bloodshed, no matter what it took.

_I don't know if I'll ever be able to stomach that code of chivalry and honor that you two dedicated yourselves to, _Whispered the future Fraldarius heir. _But for the sake of the people you love…I can understand that. But I won't die for them…I will live for them, I will live with them. For as long as I possibly can, so…mother, brother…father…watch over me…help me to watch over them._

* * *

**So…as far as male tsunderes go, Felix is perhaps takes the cake for the most tsun-tsun, so much so it's tempting to write him off as a complete asshole. At least until you get deeper into his supports and find he really does care about his friends and family. As I mentioned, it's clear that all of the Blue Lions are…damaged in one way or another, but many of them go about handling it in different ways, some healthy and others not so much. In Felix's case…it's quite telling that some of his endings are on a rather bleak note heavily implying he's carrying a lot of unresolved trauma that he may or may not overcome. In a lot of ways, it makes him similar to Dimitri, something that I don't think he likes to think about, yet it's one reason why most of the time he feels a certain kinship with him and should he leave him, will over time come to regret it. **

**As I did with my Dimitri/Marianne one-shot, I took some creative liberties in making the Battle of Gronder Field a tad more believable in how it went down, namely in how Rodrigue died from a stab wound that could have easily been healed. My explanation-there were no healers **_**left**_**, including Byleth who could barely get up and cut down Fleche in time. Depending on how things go, you can end a map with most of your units exhausted or completely burned out in terms of weapon durability and magic. That's the kind of scenario I like to think Gronder Field was toward the end thus explaining a few finer details. **

**One thing I wanted to take a stab at want the pressure that Felix could feel in having to live up to his father, just as he felt like he was trying to surpass Glenn. I feel like there's a sense of irony in the fact that the game's resident Navarre expy's Hero Relic is a shield, which happens to be named after arguably the most famous shield in real-world mythology. A shield is meant to protect, but Felix seemingly realizes he can only be a sword, something that cuts down and takes life, which is reflected in some of his ending where he never really finds inner peace. Contrast to his solo Blue Lions ending where he inherits his father's title and lives up to it, presumable finding some peace of mind alongside a few other more upbeat endings. **


End file.
